Just a quick one today and I’m not overly sure exactly what I am trying to get across but what better place to get my feelings out than on my blog! A slightly negative note to this post but everybody has these days and these feelings I’m sure so here goes….
After spending a whole year out in 2014/2015 due to my injury and having surgery, I did nothing but feel complete envy towards everyone and anyone who could get out there and train and compete be it running, swimming or triathlon. At this time I made myself a promise to never ever take for granted what you can go out and achieve with your body at any level.
I was never really sure whether I could or would be fixed when I was injured and after surgery it was a little unknown how I would recover, but being so determined and committed to making it work…it did. I was seeing a physio on a weekly basis and stretching/rehabbing 3 times a day! I wont lie, I still have some issues but I can get out and run, swim and cycle pain free. To start with each and every run felt like dream, I has no pressure or expectations however nearly a year on since surgery now and upping my training I feel that I am expected better results hence this post.
In July I took part in Nottingham 5 Mile Road Race which was the longest race I’ve done post surgery which went terribly! I actually ran the race at a slower pace than most of my training runs. I mean it was a boiling hot day which doesn’t really do me any favours but what worried me the most was the fact that my head went before my body and for the first time in my life I had the feeling of wanted to quit half way round!
This completely shattered my confidence and had me worrying about up and coming races I had. It was a bit of a reality check really I suppose as I know I’m never going to be a brilliant runner but I know I have the ability to compete at a decent level. So how do you get your head over a situation like this? Training runs can have a similar effect on me, a bad run just makes me stress so this is something that I really need to work on and train my mind to get over it! I must admit that the 5 mile road race did put me off for a while until I thought ‘what would the injured Emma said to me in this situation? What would she have though of me giving up’, and that’s when I thought that running is my hobby, I am not a professional, I don’t rely on podium finishes or brilliant times to pay my bills so stop being so pathetic and get over yourself and focus on your next race!
Since then have won my age group category for my first sprint distance triathlon, completed my first 10KM race which was in Wales against a train and have my second triathlon coming up tomorrow. Don’t get my wrong in between these I have had the odd rubbish run, a failed rep session and a pretty bad Parkrun fall but I am learning to deal with the negative thoughts and feelings a lot better!
Also some never big and exciting news….I have just signed for a triathlon team – 100% Tri. This is a new concept aimed at ‘non-elite’ atheletes but with similar training and support, what a brilliant idea right?!
So the main objective/target for the team is Holkham Half Iron Man in July 2017 ahhhh. I’ve got to admit that wasn’t quite in m plans for next year and it kind of scares me to death but I believe with proper training and a fantastic support network, all will be good. Best get the phychologist at the ready….